The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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