ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
