I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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