totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
