yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize