Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize