Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
