If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
There's even glitter on my cock...
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