shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
