from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
