he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
