You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize