have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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