I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
