I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
