Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
