dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
