Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
