my vag is so smooth its legendary
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
