why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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