trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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