The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I have post one night stand depression
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
