nut hugger
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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