alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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