I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
why is half of my head shaved?
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