I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
