i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
