and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
where are you?
Hypothermia
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
