Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
