what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize