I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
