I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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