Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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