I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
