she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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