I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i will never coherently bang her
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
