Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
