NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize