their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize