I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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