i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
