therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
