We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
