New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
