im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
