hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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