dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
