Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
