New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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