I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
