How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
