You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
There's always time for handjobs
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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