If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
In America we eat man semen.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
