My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
