we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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