DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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