They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize