Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
where are you?
Hypothermia
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
