You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
