who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize