Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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