Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Boobs are out for the taking
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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