Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
