I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
