he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize