I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
