she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
