I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
