Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
