Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The power of my boobs compel you
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
