its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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