I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
