Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
