turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize