And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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