ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
